Fatigue Floods the Faithful
Ramadan’s here, a holy haul of sawm and salah—unless you’re our sofa squatters, that is. Reports indicate our office turned chaotic this week when weary workers detected what they believed to be an “unidentified fasting feat” moving erratically through our ranks.
A Slumber Snafu
HR found itself in deep water after mistaking a particularly tuckered-out troop for Ramadan’s finest. “We noticed an unusual energy drop, followed by an unexpected series of couch-bound collapses,” said one drained manager, echoing cries of “extremely tired and exhausted” from the front lines. “It was behaving in a way that suggested advanced devotion… or at least that’s what we thought at the time.”
The Dozy Truth Surfaces
After a tense standoff and multiple pleas of “InshaAllah it gets better,” our coffee cops were dispatched to investigate. What they found was not a sophisticated show of sawm, but rather a listless legion releasing an alarming quantity of yawns. “We realized we had been chasing sleep farts,” admitted one frazzled lead. “And not just a few—these folks were letting rip at couch-locked levels of intensity.”
A Costly Collapse
The operation, which involved scrambling latte lifelines and deploying date-dosed smoothies, reportedly cost us heaps in halted hustle. Critics were quick to pounce on the blunder, with some questioning our vigor vigilance. “If our best can’t distinguish between a fasting father and a drowsy dawdler, we may need to rethink our Ramadan roster,” snapped one thread-weary worker, nodding to those juggling jobs and jammies.
Snoozers Strike Back?
Bleary bloggers weighed in, blaming “lack of caffeine” headaches or baby-wrangling woes— “I’m taking care of a kid while fasting and cooking!” one wailed. “It happens to me many days, each year,” sighed another, as “Snoozy Sami” shrugged, “Sleep’s my worship—check the hadith!” Yet the grinders growled back: “In the time of our Prophet ﷺ, they fought wars mid-fast—what’s our excuse?”
Lessons Learned
While no nafls were nixed in this nap-off, Alhamdulillah, we’ve vowed to sharpen our slacker sonar. “Next time, we’ll be sure to sniff out the situation a little more carefully before cheering,” joked our boss, still upright unlike the “lie on the couch all day” league. To the pious pushing through: you’re the real Ramadan MVPs. To the rest: Allah sees your 3- hour long siestas—and your suhoor skips.
Stay vigilant,
Wes
Get the Lesser Evil here. It will wake you up.
P.S. The above was satire. I don’t have coffee cops working for me. Nor do I have slacker sonar. But I did make The Lesser Evil. Here’s that link again: https://talesofkhayr.com/lesser-evil/
